I touched on how important small choices are to who we end up being yesterday, and I also wanted to touch on them for relationships. Over the last 15 years of doing what I do, I have watched people's relationships fall apart and end. I have also seen people fortify and rebuild their relationships into something more substantial and better.
The difference is often the small choices. The little things people either do or do not do make a difference. It isn't valentines, anniversaries, or even birthdays but every day that builds to these events.
How do you greet each other when you come home? How do you leave each other in the morning? How do you show that the other person is essential to you? The little opportunities every day can build or break a relationship.
I spoke to an older female patient one day about her marriage of 30 years, and she told me that her husband would make her coffee and put out her breakfast muffin every morning. She told me that he traveled for work occasionally, so he wouldn't be there to put them out every once in a while, and that she missed him even more on those mornings.
It wasn't that she couldn't make coffee. That was the way he said I love you every day. This is one of the reasons I make my wife's tea every morning before I start researching.
Talking with a gentleman, he told me that he would change the towels in their bathroom every three days so that they always had fresh towels. His wife died of cancer after 27 years of marriage, and he still does this. He told me that she liked it and it was his way of remembering her. It is highly possible this story still makes me cry a little bit.
But that's why I wanted to include it. Something so small and seemingly insignificant can be a big deal. It isn't the thing that your wife will brag to her friends about. No one will make a movie out of making coffee or changing towels, but the little things let people know you care.
It's the little things that keep a relationship moving and growing. A little bit of water every day can grow a huge tree.
Dr. Matt Chalmers
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only. Before taking any action based on this information you should first consult with your physician or health care provider. This information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions regarding a medical condition, your health, or wellness.