People commented on how lonely it looked after yesterday's piece on creating your own life and how only you can achieve it. I never saw it that way; it was a personal obligation to take command of your life and create a direction. This does not imply that you will be lonely; instead, it means that you will live with intention. I have a handful of buddies with whom I choose to spend my time. I've created a solid circle to assist me in taking the necessary actions and constructing the bridge. My wife, partner, and best friend were once merely a list of attributes I went out to find.
My business partners are individuals with whom I have decided to collaborate. Building your own life does not have to be lonely; it must only come from within you. You can meet wonderful people, but you must have the goal and desire to create something with them to remain lonely. Nothing binds individuals together more than a common aim or dream. The issue is that you must not only have that aim or ambition but also have already begun along that route.
If you are on a path, many individuals will come into your life for a short time or for a long period and assist you in building your bridge; they will not build it for you. For me, it has always been true that you can never accomplish big things on your own. The fact is, the people I've met who have assisted me in doing big things were already on their way, constructing their bridge. We both built bridges while working together and having a good time, but they were distinct bridges.
They have the potential to go in several ways. No one was upset with where another bridge took them after we worked together; we just had significantly different end objectives. I believe that the concept of you building your own bridge simply indicates that if you want to do life together, you may both build your bridges, even if they are different. I intend to stay with my wife for as long as she allows, but our paths diverge.
They are inextricably linked, but they are still distinct. Because I know this, I work harder to ensure that the bridge I construct includes her because I get to choose how my life unfolds, and because I want her to be a part of it, I build her into it. I picked that entirely on my own to construct my bridge with her in it. That means I do things on a regular basis to ensure she understands she is a part of my bridge. It's only lonely if you make it so.
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Dr. Matt Chalmers
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