Are You Acting Out Your Pain or Working Through It?

I was on a coaching call with someone who was concerned about speaking in public and having people reject the message. He expressed his displeasure with people being negative in the comments. The problem was that he interpreted the comments as if they were made by him or someone like him. We must recognize that many people in the world are suffering from emotional issues or have not worked on themselves at all, and they are hurting and have no way of getting better, so they try to expel the hate and venom outwardly.

This makes what they say hurtful and mean, but it is often overlooked that the person is in pain. If you understand psychology, you can often tell when someone is upset about something other than what they are writing about. It is known as transference. You have a problem in your life that has nothing to do with where you put the emotion. You have a bad relationship with your wife, which bothers you, so you lash out at people online.

The problem is that you never get better by spreading negativity. You may feel good at the time, but you did nothing to help the problem at hand, so you never truly get better. This can often spiral out of control, and a person can become increasingly negative until they address the underlying issue. So, if you notice the negative creeping into your life, stop and consider why you are negative and what is going on in your life that you need to work on.

If a stranger is seriously negative to you online, keep in mind that they may be seriously hurting in another area of their life, and what they said to you is meaningless.

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Dr. Matt Chalmers

Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only. Before taking any action based on this information you should first consult with your physician or health care provider. This information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions regarding a medical condition, your health, or wellness.

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