I am seeing more anxiety and stress in my patients over the last few years. Yes, Covid is a thing, or was it a thing? Are we over that now with the Russia thing? I am not sure.
On top of their normal lives, they worry. I have gone round and round trying to come up with a nice or soft way of saying this, but I can't, so here it is. It would be best if you guys cared less about a lot of stuff. Not because caring about things is bad but obsessing about things you cannot change is literally killing you.
For instance, I spoke with a lady the other day who is beside herself with grief about the animals that will be harmed in Ukraine. Now I will admit there are more animals, mostly dogs, that I like more than a lot of people. Having said that, take a breath and calm down.
I asked her what she was doing about it and how she was helping. She admitted that there was nothing she could do. I asked if she was sure if there was a charity for animals in war or something. She said she was sure, so my advice was she needed to let it go. Focus on the animals here in her community.
So, she decided to volunteer at a local shelter. With the constant fear the news and social media put out, it is easy to worry about all kinds of things. But please stop and ask yourself, can I do anything about this issue? If you cannot, try to let, it go. Worrying about something you cannot change is going to destroy you. Learning to let go of certain things is a great path to being happy and having less stress, and I think we all know how deadly stress is. So, now I am not telling you to care about anything but to try to evaluate the issue. Find ways to help resolve or lessen the problem, do those things, and move on.
It is important to learn to discern if something is bad and why you think it is bad and then resolve the issue to a point where you can let it go.
When you start to worry about something, go through this checklist.
Have I done what I can to fix this issue? Now that I have done what I can, if anything, is further worrying about this and obsessing over it worth trading my health for?
This is a hard topic, and I spend lots of time when I coach going over this, but it is important to understand. Choosing to let go is not a weakness. It doesn't make you a bad person. It means you recognize your abilities and do not take responsibility for things outside your control.
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Dr. Matt Chalmers
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